Perfect Strangers, Alone Together

This past Valentine’s Day, a once viral video from 2006 re-made the rounds online: Ben Coonley’s Valentine for Perfect Strangers.

I never get tired of Coonley’s video, described as “a romantic e-card from Otto, a feral cat seeking love from a stranger on the Internet. Otto edits himself into clips from the 1980’s sitcom Perfect Strangers and asks strangers on YouTube to return the favor.”

Watching it again this year, I thought about its potential overlap with Sherry Turkle’s Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other (2012). Ostensibly, Turkle and Coonley are working in the same soil: intimacy and the internet. The website for Turkle’s book features the following language: “Facebook. Twitter. SecondLife. ‘Smart’ phones. Robotic pets. Robotic lovers. Thirty years ago we asked what we would use computers for. Now the question is what don’t we use them for. Now, through technology, we create, navigate, and perform our emotional lives.” “Technology has become the architect of our intimacies,” she goes on to warn.

But as I recalled watching the video for the first time — years ago with the friend who introduced me to it — I thought not of the pathetic ironies of 21st century digitally-mediated longing but of actual relationships: the shared laughter with my friend, and then my subsequent inclusion of the video in a screening program I’d put together in Puerto Rico. In a steamy gallery space with bad acoustics, dozens of young people sat crowded on the floor and watched Coonley’s video and other short works about love and longing. The event wasn’t a particular success, and I don’t have a big thesis — but just a tiny observation: that for every grand evaluation of the impact of technology, there is an immediately available example of its very opposite. Every online alienation might contain the shadow of a genuine encounter in another time/space dimension. We should keep tracking both story lines.

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